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Wednesday, March 10, 2010 |
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My miscarriage was my personal secret. We were one day away from telling everyone our happy news about the baby when we found out the baby had passed away.
So we didn't get to tell anyone our news. But we didn't have to un-tell our news to many people either.
About a month after my miscarriage, I started taking my son to a church playgroup. There are four people in this playgroup.
Two of them are pregnant. One is due five days after I was supposed to be having my own baby.
I never planned on telling them my secret. This was my own.
So I've been sitting there week after week listening to the two women complaining about all things pregnancy -- the weight gain, lack of sleep, discomfort. It hurts. Really hurts.
But I don't go to playgroup for me. I go for my son.
Two weeks ago, the other member of our group who's not pregnant began sharing her story about losing her baby at 16 weeks. I tried to keep it together so I wouldn't share my own pain.
My secret. My secret. Don't tell them.
I tried not to show my emotions. It was too much, though. |
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Thursday, March 04, 2010 |
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Before we even started trying to conceive, I began to prepare my body for pregnancy.
I took my prenatal vitamins every day. I stopped dyeing my hair. I cut off all sodas. I only drank buckets of water.
I'm a purist in the months leading up to trying to conceive, when I'm pregnant and while I'm breastfeeding. I won't even take an aspirin.
For my first pregnancy, my healthy mindset produced a beautiful baby boy. For my second pregnancy, we made it to 13 weeks and 1 day before receiving the bad news that the baby had passed away. |
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